The Dreaded Day

It's Monday, the fifth of May....a date that has been lurking in the back of my mind with disdain. I had to be at the cardiologist at 8:30 a.m. this morning. Why those things are so difficult for me is still a mystery. I suppose I would have to admit that fear is involved. One never knows what the outcome will be.

He sent me off with"see you in six months" after he scared me half to death. The reading from my defribrillator showed a major change sometime in February. He asked if I had fallen or something. I couldn't think of a thing. I asked what this meant about or for my heart and he told me it meant nothing......the only thing it could mean was that the leads that go from the defib to the heart could be failing. Everyone has heard that there is a recall on these leads so the docs are pretty cautious. He assured me that even a slight movement of the lead could have made the change. He said that he didn't think it was anything to worry about and I was not to lose any sleep over it. I had to have an EKG and then go over to the hospital for a chest xray. Oh happy day. I changed cardiologists after I had the defib put in. The guy I now go to put my defib in. He is young and optimistic. The other was old and pessimistic. I'm much happier with this one. I literally dreaded seeing the other guy....he was a foreigner and I felt threatened by him. Perhaps I could be accused of being racist but I don't think that is the case. I simply feel more at home with this tall young man with blonde hair whose coloring and gentle nature could be my own kin.