Fickle Emotions

Emotions.....I'm here to tell ya that you can't trust them. Late last week, I enjoyed some days where nothing bothered me. The critical spirit I had been struggling with dissipated (thank God) and I was left with love in my heart for everyone of my fellow humankind. Sometimes the sin I see in myself, in others, and in my church can overwhelm me with a feeling that attempts to drown me in hopelessness. I had been really struggling with that for some time. Like Solomon, I could lament with a loud voice, "All is vanity! Of course, one can't share that with another human being without being very vulnerable. I think I shared it with my husband and one of my good friends, and for some reaon, they think I have something to offer even when or in spite of my being in a funk. I prayed about my condition. Lord, replace this awful negative spot I'm in with the love that only you can give. Finally, late last week, the calm came...the ugliness disappeared and I could love without condition once more.

Just when I thought I had made the climb up that mountain, just when I thought the struggle was over.......I spent a miserable night......there were so many fears that reared their ugly heads. My physical being was even responding to this torment. Why Lord? Why? Just when peace had come, why am I feeling this way? It didn't last long and He has confirmed His presence to me and allowed me a measure of peace again. The day after my long night, I put my battle into a poem...sometimes it helps....

Just a day ago, the calm was sweetly overwhelming
There was no need to self defend
There was no need to compare with another
There was peace in the soul
So what was it all about when
Disquietness enveloped me during the night
Nothing had changed
Emotions are difficult to harness
The truth of God’s Word is deeply in place
Still Satan’s lies attempt to erase
Lord, allow your Spirit to invade my being
Wash each cell with your affirming truth
I join David and say
Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
For I will yet praise him
My Savior and my God

After each evening meal we eat as a family, (not always), we play a Bible trivia game with our grandson. His Bible knowledge amazes us and delights us. Last evening, one of the questions was, "How many times do the words, "Do not fear" appear in the Bible. None of us knew the answer but were pleased when we learned that there are 365 times in the Word that God tells us not to fear. I commented that God must have known we needed to hear that everyday, one time for each day of the year.

Regardless of where we are emtionally in our journey through this life, we can be assured He has us in the hallow of His hand.....trust His Words and not your emotions.