Beards and Black Dresses

We are so blessed to be within two hours of Amish country here in Indiana. It is my pleasure to visit there a couple of times a year. The area is so clean and attractive. The houses of pure white and the impecable yards give an aha to my soul. I love the area and I love the people. About twenty five years ago we met an Amish couple who were neighbors to mutual friends of ours. Harley and Liz were young then and had several young children. As I recall their eldest son was eight. We had a good time getting to know Harley. Liz was more shy and I believe at the time, she felt it was best to keep her distance from such worldly Englishers as we. Well, wordly, at least from her perspective. Harley is just a very happy and jolly fellow. He loves everyone he meets. He worked "out in the world" so had developed an easy way with those outside the Amish fold. He and my husband developed an appreciation for each other and began a relationship of tease. You know the kind, one man tries to outdo the other by throwing zingers and the best zinger wins. They had such fun together. As the years went by, I began to know Liz a bit and would be surprised when we visited that there was another baby in the making or a new one on her hip. By the time their family was complete, there were ten children.
When their oldest daughter was eleven, we took an exchange student and her parents from Belguim to Harley's and Liz's home for a noon meal. There were five of us and when we walked into the Amish home we were delighted to learn that Liz was having a quilting bee. We could see through a long hallway to the living room where a big frame was set up and there were several women with covered heads bending over the frame working on a quilt. Most of the ladies were sisters or sister in laws. We were told everyone was staying for dinner (noon meal). There were 21 on us seated around their gigantic kitchen table. The oldest daughter's job that day was to cook for us. We were shocked to find unending courses to a beautiful Amish meal. Fried leghorn chicken was piled high on a serving platter. That was complimented by potato salad, mashed potatoes, noodles, green beans, and homemade bread and shoofly pie. I'm sure I'm forgetting some of the dishes but it was an outstanding meal. I knew then that Mary would make someone a good wife one day.
That meal experience rather cemented our relationship. Since then, we don't go to Shipshewana without stopping at Harley's and Liz's. We had asked them for years to come to visit us but time passed by and it hadn't happened. Last fall, we arranged our mutual friends to take them to our home for Sunday dinner. They arrived early on that Sunday morning and went to church with us. That was an unexpected honor. When we were seated, I leaned over and asked if they had been in an English church before and they said they had been to weddings and funerals but not to a service. I was so pleased they chose to honor us with their presence that day. Outgoing and accepting Harley said he really liked the service. I don't recall Liz making any comments but I'm sure she felt a bit uncomfortable. They did meet many of our church friends that day who immediately received them warmly. Today, one of those friends, Cindy, came with me to visit the Shipsey area. Our initial goal was to shop at the flea market and the local shops but once that was over we both wanted to visit Harley and Liz. After we had visited with Harley a few minutes, Liz came into the room wearing a black Amish dress. She truly looked the part of mourning. I asked where she was going and she said they were going to a "viewing" of a 21 year old boy who was killed on his bicycle yesterday. My heart fell for them. Harley commented that it opened up their hurt all over again as they knew the grief the boy's parents would be going through. Harley and Liz lost their oldest son, Sammuel, in a car accident when he was nineteen years old in l992. Parents don't get over the loss of a child. I've often wondered what thoughts went through their minds when the modern form of transportation they reject was what took their precious son's life.
Cindy and I enjoyed getting the latest news on their children and grandchildren. One of their grandaughters, six years old, has been very ill with pneumonia and has had very high temperatures. She was doing some better today and they were thankful for that. They told the story with great concern. I assured them we would pray for their little one.
When it was time to leave, they invited us to come for a meal sometime this summer. I'm sure we will do that soon. It is good for both of us to get to know the other's heart. Christians of different brandnames, even one that seems so different from our own, struggle with many of the same issues. As we sat there today, a very cute English girl came into the home and was introduced to us as their son's fiance'. After she left, I broached the subject. Liz painfully told us that their son had left the Amish church and gone to a different Christian church. I commented that it was good that he was in a church and she said "I guess so, but we wish he had chosen to stay with what we believe". We told her we feel the same way about the way our children choose to worship. It always feels better when they follow the path we have laid out for them. We could identify with Liz's heart and respect her mother concern. The reason why our friendship with our Amish friends is so precious is because both of us are stretched.
PS I asked Liz's and Harley's daughter Miriam if I could take her picture and she was readily willing. I told her I didn't want to offend and if taking her picture caused her offense to please feel free to tell me. "Mom and Dad wouldn't like to have their picture taken, but they don't care if people take ours" she replied. So in front of her rig, she and her precious little girl posed willingly.
PPS On May 26th, my work mate and her Austrailian father-in-law and wife asked me to be their tour guide to Shipshewana. While there, we ended our tour with a quick visit to Harley and Liz. After reading this blog some people had asked if Harley and Liz would have to practice shunning the son that left the Amish faith. I didn't know, I just remembered Harley say, "we still love him" and that was good enough for me. On this past trip, I asked if shunning was still practiced and they both said it was. I asked, "then what about Alan?" They told me that because Alan had never joined the Amish church, they didn't have to shun him. I am so grateful. I wouldn't want them to have that pain.