One of Those Days

It's been a trying day. Being misunderstood and tongue lashed doesn't feel good no matter who one is or what age one is. All day I've been attempting to give the hurt to the Lord. It's funny how human it is to want to hold on to hurt. There's part of me that would like never to risk myself again. What is the point? Only to be hurt again? It is very strange how wonderful one can feel one moment and a few moments later feel as if the rug has been pulled right out from under one. What changed? Only the realization of what another thinks of one. My personality is a people pleasing one. I really like to have everyone happy. That is true within our family and our church and my greater arena of friends and acquaintances. There are a few people in my life that from time to time misunderstand my motives and my goals. It seems no matter how much thought I put into the matters that need dealing with, no matter how caring I try to be, it just isn't accepted that way. It would be easy to just give up. I've had to fight that temptation today as well as the temptation to "get back".
Tonight I had to run to the Word for comfort. The following Psalm was a balm to my hurting soul. Read especially verses 14, 18, 19.

Psalm 34 (The Message)
The Message (MSG)
Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson
Psalm 34
1 I bless God every chance I get; my lungs expand with his praise.
2 I live and breathe God; if things aren't going well, hear this and be happy:
3 Join me in spreading the news; together let's get the word out.
4 God met me more than halfway, he freed me from my anxious fears.
5 Look at him; give him your warmest smile. Never hide your feelings from him.
6 When I was desperate, I called out, and God got me out of a tight spot.
7 God's angel sets up a circle of protection around us while we pray.
8 Open your mouth and taste, open your eyes and see—how good God is.
Blessed are you who run to him.
9 Worship God if you want the best; worship opens doors to all his goodness.
10 Young lions on the prowl get hungry, but God-seekers are full of God.
11 Come, children, listen closely; I'll give you a lesson in God worship.
12 Who out there has a lust for life? Can't wait each day to come upon beauty?
13 Guard your tongue from profanity, and no more lying through your teeth.
14 Turn your back on sin; do something good. Embrace peace—don't let it get away!
15 God keeps an eye on his friends, his ears pick up every moan and groan.
16 God won't put up with rebels; he'll cull them from the pack.
17 Is anyone crying for help? God is listening, ready to rescue you.
18 If your heart is broken, you'll find God right there; if you're kicked in the gut, he'll help you catch your breath.
19 Disciples so often get into trouble; still, God is there every time.
20 He's your bodyguard, shielding every bone; not even a finger gets broken.
21 The wicked commit slow suicide; they waste their lives hating the good. 22 God pays for each slave's freedom; no one who runs to him loses out.

I just got off the phone with my eldest daughter. She was sharing some family dynamics on her husband's side and simply said, "We will invite them no matter what. (Thanksgiving). It isn't for us to judge or to seek vengence but to show mercy and love". I didn't share my hurt with her but she ministered to me without even knowing it. I will continue to love my attacker as well. I must trust God to be the one to whom vengence belongs. Because my words are not accepted, I must trust God's Spirit to speak peace to the souls of both of us. Through it all, I sit up and evaluate my own actions and words. If it is true that I said the wrong thing, then God forgive me. If my motives were not loving, then God forgive me. Verse 19 speaks God's understanding to me and tells me He is with me and will salve my mind and heart.