The Struggle to Stay Positive

It is the fourth of the month already. The last I wrote was New Year's Day. Just haven't been in the mood. As I read the last couple of entries, I want to hang my head/they are pretty depressing. While my circumstances are not changed a whole lot, I wish to be more positive today. At times like this it strikes me that writing a blog is like hanging one's dirty laundry for all to see. If I didn't believe with all my heart that Jesus is my refuge and fortress, I'd give this up in a minute. If there is anything I have learned in my sixty plus years is that everyone goes through things that are difficult. In the church of my childhood, it was proper to keep all ones troubles secret. We were to appear pure and holy. What a facade. We would not wish to appear as though we were nonspiritual. I so praise God that I am a member of the body of Christ at a church that recognizes that life is a spiritual battle and that we find our victory in Jesus and when we struggle, people, fellow believers, (Jesus with skin on) come along with us and encourage us with their hugs and prayers and when victory is finally won, celebrate God's faithfulness with us by praising God.

It is difficult to be positive today. Some time ago I wrote about a wonderful lady from our church that died of a heart attack. Her husband found her on the sofa and thought she was sleeping. To say this couple loved each other is an understatement. Most of their family lived miles away so they were a grandpa and grandma to several children in our church including our pastor's children. Yesterday we got a terrible phone call. The husband had gone in the back yard and shot himself. We were bowled over. Jim? Why would he do that? He seemed to be in grief but handling it fairly well. Our church family has been robbed by Satan one more time. We have experienced male suicide three times in four years. Unheard of in a church, correct? I can't conjecture any motive or reason other than that the holidays made his wife's absence more than he could handle. I wish I could hug him one last time and tell him how important his presence is to us at Community. He was a surrogate grandfather to the children of one of the men who took his life a couple of years ago. Tell me, how those kids are going to recover. Yes, we at Community have been dealt another heavy blow. God teach us what we are to learn through this latest trial.