Handkerchiefs and Church

It's Sunday today. Our plan is to gather with our church family this morning and worship God together. After church we have plans with friends to go out to eat together. Our friends have been very busy recently and our times together have been minimal. It will be good to see them and share life once again.

At Bible study on Friday night the conversation stirred up many memories of what it was like for me to sit in church as a little girl. Some ladies said their mothers sent pink peppermints down the row to each child. Others spoke of having a heritage of white peppermints, Wilhemenia peppermints or King peppermints. Whatever the form, it was quite clear that “mint” in some form had a calming effect on children during church services. In those days, children were to be seen and not heard. We were quiet in church and when we weren’t, we would be the next time. We were brought to church to worship and also to develop the rhythm of church attendance in our lives. I’m sure my parents also expected I would ingest the messages presented. Children’s church was not thought of then. We were to be with the adults in the regular service. My poor parents as children had to sit through Dutch services they didn’t understand. I guess I shouldn’t complain, at least ours were in English. I think it was thought back then, at least in our tradition, that Sunday school and catechism classes (which I attended from grade one) were the tools through which I would learn Truth. There wasn’t anything wrong about that intent because I truly think it worked. It is interesting, however, how times and thoughts have changed regarding the place of children in church services.

It occurred to me that handkerchiefs were very important in church services. My mother always had several in her purse. One was for runny noses or to wipe away a tear. (We didn’t use paper tissues then) One was used to wrap several peppermints (we take baggies and Saran wrap for granted now, it wasn’t always available and waxed paper was too noisy in church). Another handkerchief was wrapped and knotted around a single peppermint and it was offered to my baby brother. Mom held on to one end and the end with the peppermint went into his mouth where it provided calm and quiet for the duration of the church service.

The handkerchief reserved for me was special. Mom had a way of folding a handkerchief that made it appear as if there were twp babies in a cradle. I recall watching her quietly fold the hanky by rolling both ends toward the middle When the rolls met the middle she performed some magic by turning something inside out and suddenly my toy had appeared. I would hold an end with each hand and rock those imaginary babies back and forth, back and forth. It kept me quiet for at least a few minutes.

Wow, how I wish I could talk to my mom about these memories. (She could also show me how to make magic with a handkerchief) It brings tears to my eyes as I recall her quiet ways and the effort she made to make me comfortable and keep me occupied. I’m sure she could add much about those days and could probably add some good stories about handkerchiefs, too. My mom died when she was fifty-seven. I felt it then and feel it now that it was way too young for a mom to die. How I wish I could have shared my spiritual maturing process with her. I wish I could have gone to her for wisdom during the years I reared a large family. I have missed her. But, God makes no mistakes. The lesson I have learned from the early loss of my mother is that we cannot take each other for granted. Each moment with my husband and children, grandchildren, friends and other loved ones is precious to me. If I ere on the side of leaving work unfinished to join in the activities of those I love, it is because I hold our moments together so dear. There are no issues in the life of Christians that should separate them. I hear of families that allow conflicts to end their relationships and I grieve. I simply cannot imagine wasting time in conflict when we have the opportunity to love. How God must grieve. Enjoy your loved ones. Forgive whatever offense you may have against them. If God can forgive your sins and mine, how can we go about with offense in our hearts? There is nothing more freeing than the act of forgiveness. God is our example. Love conquers all! Go and love…….