Friends in All Places

Husbands of two of my friends have gone to Mississippi to work toward rebuilding roofs damaged from Hurricane Katrina. They will be gone for ten days. A long time for two wives to sit alone at night. Last evening when I realized I had way more chicken in the oven than what we would eat, I called each of them and invited them for dinner. Ken was outnumbered 3-1 at the dinner table. He didn't seem to mind a bit. These people are life long friends and I am confident he feels as comfortable with the women as he does with the men. We enjoyed a nice visit and then off they went to their homes to sleep in an empty bed. I can only imagine what a widow feels when she first has to climb into a bed alone. That reminds me of our friends in Flint Michigan. Leroy is a Baptist minister in his eighties. Wilma, his wife of over fifty years has recently had a second stroke. She has been in the hospital for several days and Leroy doesn't leave her side. The hospital staff brings in a cot and he sleeps next to her side. Leroy called yesterday to tell us that Wilma's stroke had done some severe damage and the doctors have recommended they put her in a nursing home. I could hear the pain in his voice and words. A more loving man one would not find and he has been caring for her for months now. He told the story that when the doctor gave him the recommendation, he began to break down. The doctor told him not to get emotional. Leroy said, "I told him that she has been my wife for fifty seven years and you tell me not to get emotional?" My heart bled for both of them. Wilma can't speak well now and so is very frustrated at not being able to express herself and her desires. She did manage to tell Leroy she wanted to go home and have Hospice come. I'm sure her desire is to just kiss him goodbye and go to Jesus. If only it would be that soon and she wouldn't have to spend time in a nursing home.

We went to see Leroy and Wilma in August. I felt such an urgency to get there while Wilma was still well enough to enjoy our visit. She was using a walker most of the time then but she was adament that we not take the sheets off our bed and wash them for her, she said she could do that herself. I left feeling badly about that. For me, it would only take a small effort, for her, the effort was huge. I'm so grateful we were blessed to enjoy her those few days. She still had a quick wit and her pleasant humor. Leroy reminded me yesterday that they have known us since l964 when they moved next door to where we lived. We had one child then, in fact our second child was born the December after the September when they moved in. I recall bringing John to their house next door to show him off. He was in a little white sweater set from head to toe. I can still see Leroy lift that little boy up and look him over. Our children have always been important to them. They have followed all our births and adoptions. They didn't have any children together; Leroy had two children by a former marriage. The mother of those children soured them against their father and to this day his children and grandchildren have little contact with him. That has been a source of remorse and guilt for Leroy his entire life.

If you think of Leroy and Wilma today, please send a prayer to the Lord for their comfort and grace during their time of suffering.