One of the Joyces in My Life

Joyce and I met about thirty years ago. I was a trip coordinator for Holt Internation from Chicago to Seoul, Korea for about eighteen parents who were traveling there to receive their adoptive baby. I met most of my group in Chicago. Joyce was a very timid, frightened, insecure young women at that point. (That changed dramatically in her life) She had traveled no where and hadn't been on a plane before. She and her husband had a daughter at home and were adding a baby daughter by adoption to their little family. That trip and one prior had cemented relationships with many people with adoption in their experience. We had twelve babies to pick up. Most of them were from six months to a year old. The experience in Korea and with the adoption agency was most dramatic and it would take a year to write about that. But there was Joyce. Joyce got a little seven month old daughter she named Sarah. On our flight home, I was sitting toward the front of the plane attempting to recover from two weeks of intense activity and emotional stress. I heard a wailing from the back of the plane. The wail continued and continued. I will confess that my first thought was, I'm up here, she is back there, she can deal with it. When the wail continued to the point that our group's reputation was at stake, I got up and walked the aisle back to the rear of the plane. There I found an unhappy baby and an exhausted mommy. It had been twelve years since she mothered a baby and the emotional toll of the whole traveling and adopting experience was wearing her thin. I took that beautiful almond eyed Asian baby into my arms and walked the aisle with her. (Couldn't be done that way today) Who knows what was upsetting that child. Could have been separation anxiety after being taken from her foster mother, it could have been the altitude, it could have been looking into unfamiliar yet loving American eyes. The kid was upset. Having walked her while humming a Korean folk tune in her ear, she calmed down.

Joyce's and my mutual experience joined us as friends to this day. Yesterday about eight o'clock, the phone rang and on the other end was the voice of my friend, Joyce. She lives on the other side of the state and was traveling to the central part of the state to see her mother who is now in a retirement care facility. When Joyce's mother lived in her humble little home on State Road 37 in Fairmount, I would visit her with Joyce and we had sleep overs there. One thinks of children and teens having sleep overs but ours was a sleep over with all mature women. We had such good times and shared many laughs. I love her mom. It has been on my mind to visit her for some time, BUT, she lives two and a half hours from my home.

When I heard that Joyce was going to her moms, I jumped at the opportunity to meet her there and share a few hours with her and a lonely, elderly woman whose body won't do what she wants it to do any more. I told Joyce I'd talk to her in person and quickly hung up the phone and prepared myself for travel. When I arrived it was lunch time and Joyce and her brother and his wife were going to a local restaurant for lunch. I joined them and we had a wonderful time of laughter and warmth. After lunch, we went to visit Maxine. Maxine was so excited I had come. We chatted like old times and she was content. Later, Joyce and I took her for a fitting for new hearing aids. When we returned, the residents were headed to the dining area for their supper. Maxine didn't want us to leave in the worst way. She tried all the angles. She wanted me to sleep for the night on her sofa. She thought she should take us for a bit of food or at least an ice cream cone. Because Maxine isn't able to move quickly, it takes a great effort to get her somewhere and back. Having just returned from the doctor, Joyce wasn't eager to make the effort. Besides, there were heavy wind warnings and it wasn't pleasant outdoors. We decided like it or not, we must leave her. Her friends rallied to the need and surrounded her with hugs and grabbed her hand to invite her to join them for their meal.

As we walked away under our own steam, I thanked God for my mobility and health in spite of a few issues. I looked at all those dear elderly people and said to Joyce, "We have no idea what is ahead of us." She agreed.

Joyce and I went to her brother's home to meet he and his wife. We then went to a famous little restaurant in Upland called Ivanhoes. I have been there several times in the past and didn't realize that was where they were taking me. I was delighted to see the little restaurant that holds good memories. I had a fruit plate that was wonderful. After dinner, it was time for Joyce and me to part. She was to drive two and a half hours one way and me, two and a half hours the other way. During our ride home we spent much time on our cell phones sharing some things we didn't have time to share throughout our busy day.

I cherish the friendship our trip to Korea brought to us. Since that time, we have helped each other through very difficult times in both of our lives. I recall one very dramatically difficult time for me that went on for months. That was before e-mail and I would receive cards from her with encouraging Scripture verses a couple of times a week. Actually, during that time, she was one of the few people I had that was encouraging. I was isolated from my usual support group by difficult circumstances. By sending me those scriptures, she held out hope for me. It meant everything. I know that I have helped her over some bumps that she didn't think she could ride over also.

Treat your friendships as if they are treasures, because they are. Make time for each other even if miles seperate you and you decide at eight oclock in the morning that you are going to make the trip and leave a half hour later. What an impulsive woman I am. I hear many of you Amening that one.