Where Does Freedom End?

My friend, Joyce, called me on the phone from northeastern Indiana yesterday. This friend is definitely made of the same cloth from which I am made. Her philosophies are the same, her values the same and many of her experiences have been my experiences. I know and love her and I could tell she was in a bit of a panic. We have this little thing we say when what we are trying to say is, “I have another crisis”. The phrase is, “I have to tell you Chapter 56” or some other absurd number. The other one laughs and says, “Tell on”.

Joyce and I met on a trip to Korea many years ago when she was going to get their adopted daughter of seven months old. Having both adopted Korean children is only one of our commonalities. She and her husband have also or should I say are also raising one of their grandsons. This little boy is nearing nine years of age. We both tease that we each have a golden boy; she and her husband have Mikal and we have Isaiah. Children reared by grandparents have a different type of upbringing than children reared by parents. Some of it is better and some of it is probably not better. One thing is certain, both we and they are dedicated to helping our daughters rear their sons in a Christ honored environment. Both of us love our golden boys to pieces.

Yesterday, Joyce went to get Mikal from school around 12:30 as they had early dismissal. She explained to him that she had to stop at the grocery store to get a couple of things. He fussed a bit about going in with her. He had a new toy and just wanted to sit in the car, play with his toy and wait for Grandma to do her thing. Joyce instructed Mikal to leave the doors locked and not open a door or window for anyone. Mikal agreed to the conditions for being allowed to stay in the car. Now, I must describe the town in which they live. It is LITTLE; probably half the size of De Motte, which is small. The grocery store where Joyce gets her groceries is a little one-horse store. When I say one horse, that is exactly what I mean. It is a store that caters to the Amish people in the area and the rest of the community who are rural people. I’ve been to this place with her. It is rural.

When Joyce returned to her car she found a lady standing next to it. Her first thought was that the lady had accidentally hit her car. The woman curtly asked her if this was her car to which Joyce replied affirmatively. Then she asked if this child was hers. Joyce told her that he was her grandchild. The lady asked why the boy wasn’t in school and why he was with his grandparent rather than his parent. Joyce explained that he had a half-day and that she and her husband have joint custody of the boy with their daughter because he lives with them on a full time basis. By this point, Joyce asked who she was and why she was asking all the questions. She told Joyce that she was from the Child Protective Agency and she had gotten a call that a child had been left alone in a car in the parking lot at the grocery store. Joyce could not believe her ears. The lady asked why she had left him in the car. Joyce told her the conversation they had had prior to her going into the store and that it was going to be a short visit so she allowed him to stay put. The lady informed her that he was not safe there and that Joyce was putting him in jeopardy by allowing him to stay in the car.

Now, I know my friend. I know that she protects that little guy with her life and that she had made sure he was safe. She trusted his maturity to stay in the car for fifteen minutes without her. Even with the lady’s arrival, Mikal had not disobeyed his grandmother’s instructions. The lady talked to him through the window but he did not open the doors or windows.

The woman told Joyce that she had to follow her to the agency office for a formal interview. Joyce about died. She decided she would get farther with honey than vinegar so she told the woman that in retrospect she was wrong and shouldn’t have left him in the car. Joyce explained that when they lived in the city she wouldn’t have considered leaving a child unaccompanied in a car but she has lived in this community now for five years and feels safe. The woman replied that there are child predators all over including this little rural town. The interview ensued and Joyce kept her composure even though she was about to burst into tears. Mikal was obviously upset and frightened by the whole experience.

As Joyce was telling me this story, I vacillated between hysterical laughter and frustrated anger. Where have we come to in this country? Who is to say that a parent or grandparent does not have the right to make some judgments for themselves without the government having a say. I was livid. The more I thought of it today, the more ridiculous it got. I know that young children walk on city streets to school every day. Is the school then responsible if the child is abducted? How in the world is there more safety from predators on the street than if they are in a locked car for a few minutes?

The upshot is that Joyce convinced the lady that Mikal has caring grandparents but the lady gave my dear friend a huge scare. Government cannot legislate parental responsibility. Joyce’s experience kind of fired me up. If she had left him in a locked car in 90-degree temps….that would be abuse. This was not. Grrrrrrrrr.