Startled

Some days need a bit of comic relief and yesterday was one of those days. After the tense morning at the doctor, I floated around Merrillville for awhile, enjoyed a Chai tea at Starbucks and sat at a table with my phone explaining my woes to two of my daughters who happen to call virtually one after the other. I stopped at the usual stop; Costco. picked up some things I'll use for the weekend and ordered a cake for the baptism luncheon. Home sounded good so home I went.

I drug in the the groceries and put most of them away. Noticing the beautiful sunshine and warm temperatures, I got an idea. I decided a tanned old body would be better to look at this summer than a pale old body so I dug into a drawer and found an antique swim suit. As I pulled it on, I could feel the latex snapping and cracking as it stretched over the curvatious poundage. Yuk. When is it that I will take a diet seriously and get rid of this extra stuff I carry around on me. The handwriting was on the wall, the swimsuit had seen its better day and would only serve to sit in the yard and soak up some rays.

I listened to see if any cars were coming down the road but all was quiet so I quickly sneaked into the garage and got a comfy lawn chair and placed it strategically behind Peggy Sue and out of sight of any and everyone. I THOUGHT! I put on my sunglasses and bowed my head into a book while the exposed part of my body took in the sun. Suddenly, I heard a male voice......"Don't be frightened young lady...I'm coming up behind you". For some reason I was startled but not afraid as I turned to look at the man who was invading my privacy. I recognized immediately that he was a candidate doing some last minute campaigning on foot going from door to door attempting to sell himself for the cost of a vote. As I took the brochures he was holding out to me, I sheepishly said, " I thought I had hid myself completely but obviously I didn't succeed". He left with a smile and I, too, had to chuckle as I thought that at a closer look at me, he had realized that his statement to me was a bit off. "Young lady" would not be too accurate. I should have known I was being terrorized when I noticed that the brochures he was distributing were from the party opposite my position. Today is the Indiana primary and I will not be voting for him or his presidential candidate of choice. That'll teach him not to sneak up on a lady trying to get a sun tan in her own yard.



Once I had taken in all the sun I dared (pale caucasians burn easily) I came into the house to happily get my regular clothes back on. As I took the swimsuit off, brittle latex fell out of everywhere. I took that faithful swimsuit and buried it in the garbage can. So much for my first tanning session of the summer.