Helping People Out of a Pit....At Least Trying

A hopeless early riser, I sit on the patio watching the sunrise over the mountains and listening to the birds chirp, yes, whistle at me, and also sing. I can't help myself...I get all giddy inside when I wake and see that dawn is happening. Darkness turns less dark and soon it gives way to LIGHT! Oh, how I love it. I guess as I evaluate this phenomonen in me, it is a good thing that I am so eager for a new day. People that are bummed on life are not eager for a new day....they lie in bed and wallow. Don't get me wrong or think I'm being judgmental....there have been a few times when I have been the wallower. When I don't want to get up in the morning, I know without a shadow of a doubt that something is very wrong in me.

In this time during the early mornings when all the rest of this household are on their ears, I've been reading a Beth Moore book entitled, "Get Out of That Pit." I'm not in a pit....but I have been in many over the years. I'm reading the book to get some fresh advice on how to help a dear friend who is in a deep pit......so deep that her little life has been at stake. Have you tried to help someone get out of a pit and felt helpless? The chapter I've just read encouraged me......the truth about helping pit dwellers is that we humans are not their deliverers. PTL I've attempted to help various people over the years. One in particular stands out in my memory as Beth talked about how people can rely on individuals to a degree that the relationship begins to be codependency. I called this person everyday for two or three years. Her addictions were gigantic.....way beyond my ability to do anything but walk alongside. I attended counseling with her which required a two hour one way trip one night a week. I counted the whole experience a blessing from God. I learned an enormous amount about patience, understanding that it was okay that I couldn't understand, loving unconditionally, letting go and letting God. I learned about spiritual warfare in a way I had been totally unaware of prior. It was a rich experience.

As time wore on, and I mean wore.....I noticed that it was I that was doing the praying and the searching of the Word. My dear friend was relying on me for all her spiritual needs. I began to wear out. I also became bitter and disillusioned. Lord, I've done my best...she has made such progress, but why doesn't she stand on her own spiritual feet. The deal was that my best wasn't good enough. I can't change a will or a desire or anything. God used me as example, as a warrior, and as a comfort and friend. In time, I began to pull back. I know it hurt my friend.... I was also hurt in the process....it seemed all I did was give and all she did was take. I struggled with pulling away. Was I wrong, Lord? Is this a selfish thing I'm doing here?

Over time, my friend began to stand on her own two feet. There were years where she rarely darkened the door of the church....but I knew the Spirit was still doing its work in her. One night, her fifty three year old faithful husband had a massive heart attack and died on the spot, right in her living room. Chicken me couldn't go,but my brave and warrior husband did. In the aftermath, both Ken and I wondered if she would make it, not only in life but in spiritual living.

I love Jane (not her real name). She loves me. When we see each other at church our hugs are warm and genuine. I think we both learned through this experience that only God can turn a life around. He uses people to encourage and point in His direction, but people will always fail one. The power of God through Jesus Christ is the only power on earth that can move those mountains. I thank him that in Jane's case, he used me to help but I'm also thankful He doesn't hold me accountable for the delivering....nor does He allow me to say I did it. I don't want the responsibility because I am just as helpless without Him as the person I am attempting lift out of a pit.

So, here I am, years later, in the middle of another crisis. A week ago, I was worried that Satan was going to take her life. God intervened and she sees a dot of light at the end of a very long tunnel. When she calls and I hear that she slipped back deeper in the pit...I am so frustrated that I can't drag her up to stay. Thank you, Beth Moore for reminding me I can only point my dear young and struggling friend to Jesus. I can even leave the outcome with Him. Lord, I trust you with this precious life and ask for complete healing in her and all her family members.